Special Guest Blogger: Vladimir of Kiev

There are not many Saints with 800 Wives, so many children that everyone lost count and a Viking Army and those who spent much of their life gambling, brawling and wenching are very thin on the ground but then there are not many men like me.
Before becoming a saint, i enjoyed a very successful career as a marauding pagan but decided one day i wanted to be the Grand Prince of Kiev, so i amassed an army of Vikings and stormed the city and deposed the jerk who currently held the title who just happened to be my brother.
After storming across Europe with hordes of Vikings to kill my own brother, i was now a Royal and ruler of Kiev so i decided it was time to settle down with a Royal wife so i sent some people to ask for the daughter of a nearby royal.
Sadly, the would-be bride declined the offer so being the reasonable person that i was, i killed her father and forced her to marry me anyway but the Royal life and one wife failed to satisfy my itch so i expanded my territory, making human sacrifices to the Pagan Gods along the way and increasing my inventory of boobies by taking 800 concubines and wives so at this point you are probably wondering how did this bloke ever become a saint?
Well, the neighboring countries who i hadn't slaughtered kept badgering me about abandoning my pagan ways and adopting one of the more respectable religions and after deciding that Islam's stance on booze wasn't to my liking and i was quite attached to my foreskin, i rejected Judaism also but on seeing a couple of men tucking into a pork leg and walking along with their foreskins obviously still firmly attached, i settled on Christianity.
I was baptized and if i was going to get my hair wet i was also going to make sure everyone was going to also so i ordered everyone else in Kiev to be baptized as Christians also which went down so well with the Christians that they made me a saint, yep, the bar was really set that low back then.
Obviously i couldn't take part in human sacrifices anymore but after checking, i went home to celebrate with as many of the 1,600 boobies i had at my disposal and becoming known as less as the guy who would hack you into tiny pieces and more Vladimir the Great and lived peacefully with all my wives before dying of old age at the ripe old age of 57.