Special Guest Blogger: Saint Christopher

Glory hunting come in many guises, to some it's a matter of changing your allegiance to a football team when they are not winning anymore but for me it was all about the most powerful icon and i started out working for the local King but one day he crossed himself at the mention of Satan and i thought hang on, this Satan guy scares the King so he must be more powerful so i left him and went looking for this Satan dude.   
Turns out he was easy to find as he was hanging out with a gang of marauders and he seemed a decent enough guy and we hung out for a while but one day he went out of way to avoid going near a cross by the side of the road and i thought hang on, this Jesus guy scares the Devil so i left him and inquired from people where to find this Jesus Christ character.
Turns out he is not quite so easy to find but i met a hermit who told me all about the Christian faith and i asked him how i could serve Christ but none of that fasting and non stop praying nonsense, so the hermit suggested that because i was 7ft tall and built like a brick outhouse, i could make Christ very happy by assisting people to cross a dangerous river, where people were perishing in the attempt. The hermit promised that this service would be pleasing to Christ.
Figuring that this was probably the best move in the long run because the King and the Devil turned out to be pussies, i chose to join the forces of good and would sit by the river and wait until someone dawdled along looking in dire need of a bridge and offered to hoist them onto my shoulders and wade across to the other side.
Luckily pastries and pies hadn't been invented yet so there weren't so many chubby people but then along comes this one kid who asked me to take him over and i don't know what he had been eating but he weighed a tonne and it was a real struggle to get over with the lardy kid on my shoulders but we made it and i put him down and said something like 'Wow kid, it felt like i had the World on my shoulders then' and he replied, 'not the world, just the person who made it'.
Turned out the kid was Jesus and i ran to the local town and started blabbing about how i had carried Christ himself which didn't go down too well with the local Christian hating King who told me to shut my yap about Christian things and trying to convert people or he will shut it for me which he did quite well actually by chopping off my head.
Due to my carrying people over the river thing, i got made the Patron Saint of travelers, mariners, ferrymen, boatmen, floods, sailors and surfers which all makes sense but why i am also the patron saint of toothache i'm not really sure but if you got an abscess or a filling falls out give me a shout and if nothing else i will make sure you get to the dentists safely.