Saturday, 8 December 2012

Please Leave The Onesie At Home

It's finally happened, we have all gone mad. The Onesie has taken over and in a worst case of the Emperors new clothes ever, nobody is shouting out 'YOU LOOK LIKE A PILLOCK', rather we are buying them in our droves.
Retail figures suggest that this is more than a passing fad. John Lewis said its sales are growing at a rate of 73 per cent a week.
Asda has sold out of its Cheeky Chimp version. Marks & Spencer has ordered 15 times more of the things than last year and New Look sold 75,000 in September alone.
Wearing them in the comfort of your own home where nobody else can see you is one thing, but I have seen people wearing them out and about in the hours of daylight. They may keep you warm but that would be the burning sense of shame travelling around your body, or it should be as you stroll around in a romper suit which should not be worn outside by anyone over the age of one.
With so many being sold in the shops, i can imagine quite a few making there way under Christmas Trees this year.
It's called a Onesie and that should put off anyone who has mastered the art of lace tying and dressing themselves not to mention the practical challenges of using the lavatory where you are only one cheap zipper away from disaster.
Yes they may keep you warm but as we are about to see a landslide of them post December 25th, i can't say this enough, 'DON'T WEAR THEM OUTSIDE, IN PUBLIC WHERE THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO WILL SEE YOU'.
If you do then welcome to the World of embarrassment, celibacy and people singing 'He/She's a baby, He/She's a baby' and passers-by shouting "What's the scores, George Dawes?' at you and you know what, you deserve it.

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