Friday, 16 September 2016

A Letter To Mother Nature

Dear Mother Nature

I appreciate that you are very busy what with trying to keep a balance of things after us humans have stuffed the atmosphere full of chemicals but i have a request.
As a pasty skinned British person who wilts as soon as the thermometer creeps anywhere close to the mid-20C's, i have been hit particularly hard this year as we have had high temperatures since April and now it is September and it still topped 30C today.
I have been sunburnt (twice), been bitten on an almost daily basis, have been stung and harassed by wasps and bees that either like or dislike my deodorant, have woken up with my pillow stuck to my face most mornings, have spent many nights turning around my pillow trying to find a cool spot and with my fan being almost permanently turned on so have almost single handedly doubled Southern Electric's profits so i ask if you can do the right thing and turn down the thermostat a bit and give us more seasonal appropriate Autumn temperatures now.
As we have had a long and hot summer, can you balance things up by providing us with a long and cold winter with lots of snow, especially down on the English South Coast as we tend to miss out on the white stuff.

Thank you

PS...If you are unable to fulfill this request can you at least throw in some decent thunderstorms, they have been very lackluster this summer.

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