Sunday, 18 September 2016

Die Hard

A family have fled their home after finding dozens of one of the  world’s deadliest spiders, which can cause a four-hour erection followed by death, in a bunch of bananas from their local Asda supermarket.
The Brazilian wandering spiders burst out of a nest that was stuck on to a banana and spilled on the kitchen floor as they unpacked their shopping.
They tried to hoover up the spiders but many escaped before the vacuum got them and the family are now refusing to go back home until the house has been fumigated.
Its venom can cause long and painful erections in males lasting up to four hours before being followed by death.
Not sure if Asda will face stiff penalties for infecting his home with spiders but they should at least pay the fumigation costs as the guy is too hard up to pay the bill.
At least his home will be safe from hardened criminals while he isn't home...etc etc

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