Special Guest Blogger: Baba Anujka

They say the golden years are the best years of your life but for many seniors they just stink up the house and make the grandkids feel uncomfortable with unwanted affection but not me as i spent most of my 90s in a prison for being one of history's most prolific serial killers.
I was an accomplished amateur chemist in my village of Vladimirovac in Yugoslavia and after my husband died, i made a bit of money selling herbs and potions to the wives of farmers who sought my help for health problems and as my reputation grew, i began to recieve some more demanding requests such as soldiers asking for mixtures which would them just ill enough to escape military service and as popular as that was, my biggest seller was for something i called 'magic water' because a wife's troublesome husband would magically disappear about eight days after drinking it.
I had a particular distaste for domestic violence, that makes me want to put my fist through something but instead i sold my magic water to women with abusive husbands and it contained arsenic in small quantities and certain plant toxins that were difficult to detect but i was professional about it, calculating the exact amount required according to the body mass of the unfortunate recipient.
My primary business was spread by word of mouth by women with shitty husbands and i advised them to refuse any offer of an autopsy for their husbands, and it just wasn't all that uncommon for a middle-aged man to drop dead for no apparent reason back then so there wasn't a great amount of suspicion raised and things were going so well that i even hired a sales agent to find potential clients but that proved to be my mistake as one new client used my potion on her first husband and then the wealthy uncle of her second husband died in the same circumstances not long after the wedding and the police became suspicious and the woman pointed the finger at me.
At my trial i played the 'sweet little old lady' card and got off because nobody would believe i would do such a thing so i went back to making my magic water but i got arrested again a decade later after one client messed up the dosage for her husband and he managed to get himself to a doctor before he died and the doctor discovered what he had taken and the wife snaked me out.
That was just after my 90th birthday and i imagined the same result but this time the authorities remembered that i had been accused of this once before so dug up the bodies of the deceased and found traces of my potions in whatever was left of their remains and i got given 15 years hard labour.
I got out after eight due to my old age and died two years later age 100 so i lived a long and mostly successful life and my name in the history books and the 150 deaths of shitty husbands accredited to me shows there is always a demand for a sweet, little old lady with poison.