Special Guest Blogger: Michael Crichton

Have you ever seen a real dinosaur? Of course you haven't, and you never will. Fact! That's because they never existed and science is a lie. I mean, have you actually ever seen a sperm? We've all tried and i was a Harvard trained physician and best-selling writer including a book called State of Fear where i set about dismantling the idea of climate change, claiming it is nonsense and is at best based on shoddy science, and at worst an elaborate scam concocted to line the pockets of Big Science.
There is a famous quote that states given enough time, a thousand monkeys typing at random would produce all of Shakespeare's plays. A hundred monkeys given a few weeks would turn out a sci-fi book by some of my lesser author rivals and one monkey, given 20 minutes and a bottle of extra strong Russian vodka would produce one of the Global Warming papers polluting the world of science.
State of Fear won an award from a petroleum association but that's nothing to do with it, people were being suckered into believing that the global climate was changing and as there was no voice calling out their blatant bullcrap, and as any opposition was weaker than the Russian parliament, i stepped in.
I toured Universities to poo-poo global warming and also advise students to ignore the opinion of the entirety of the medical community that secondhand smoke could hurt them and as a trained physician who chose to make things up for a living, i told them to believe me rather than all the collective physicians who actually physicianed for a living.
It was while i was at University that i wrote a novel under the pseudonym John Lange, Odds On, that was so well received they asked me to write a series of them but once i finished medical school i decided physicianing was not my thing so took up writing full time under my real name instead and my first book, The Andromeda Strain, was a smash hit and i directed a few films but it was the writing of the novel Jurassic Park which really made me.
That gave me the platform to spout off about other things but as i said, i'm very intelligent so i didn't expect the average person who read my books to understand so i tried to keep it simple.
I died of lymphoma but i would like to think that my books act as warnings against the use of science and technology and from where i am sitting the greatest threat is now computers, robotics and the nonsense people read on the internet. What the hell is the internet anyway? I mean, a lot of computers linked up so you can look at pictures of chicks in the buff. What's wrong with a good old fashioned telescope or a shoe mirror?
In truth, we have nothing to fear but fear itself so do yourself a favour and burn all books related to global warming, except for that one by me obviously.