I was one of the inventors of a new way of vulcanizing rubber which produced a much thinner latex product and we were churning out baby bottle nipples, hot water bottles and rubber gloves and then one day while looking at the fingers on a glove i wondered if rather than hands, i could do something for another part of the body and i came up with the first modern, lightweight seamless condom men are so grateful for today.
I patented the idea and over the next decade set up factories in Germany, Denmark, the UK, Poland and the Netherlands and began mass producing the 'Fromms' as they became known and created the first condom vending machines although we were only allowed to advertise them as hygiene products, not contraceptives as the Catholics have a problem with women not getting pregnant obviously.
At this juncture i should point out that i lived in Germany and i was Jewish and that is important because in the mid 1930's, the Nazi's happened and they couldn't let a Jew succeed at stuff so they forced me to sell them my business at a fraction of its value, to Baroness Elisabeth von Epenstein, Hermann Göring's godmother.
I fled to London with my family and what was left of our lives, and he could only watch helplessly from a distance as Hermann Goering's godmother took the rewards which should have been mine but my condoms were selling well in Britain so if nothing else it was good to see that the British upper lip was not the only thing being kept stiff.
The factory in Germany was almost completely destroyed by Allied Air raids but when the war finished we managed to secretly ship some of the machinery to the Soviet Union and we began once again producing condoms but as the Communists nationalized my company, i never made any money as i died four days after celebrating the end of the war but where safe sex always meant making sure that the bedroom door was locked or the kids were out, now it means using one of my inventions.
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