Special Guest Blogger: Alexander of Abonoteichus

As those of you know who have looked these things up, religions are forever nicking bits from other religions to sex their own up and as i was peddling fake medicines around Greece at the time many new religions were popping up and oracles were a denarius a dozen and people were swallowing that crap, i packed up my false medical bag and set about a new career as the prophet of the god of medicine and healing, Aesculapius.
I set up a sign saying 'Get healed here and have your future revealed. 2 Drachma' and fortunately for me, the ignorance of the time was stronger than the idea that someone just making shit up and the crowds came but i needed a back story and as with all religious folk, the more preposterous the more the gullible religious types believe it so i went with that i was directed to an egg by the Gods in which a small live snake had been placed called Glycon who knew all and who i had made my pet but only i could speak directly to it.
To make it more authentic and to distinguish my godly reptile buddy from all the other non-divine serpents out there, i got a snake, tied a false human head onto it and set about answering the faithfuls many questions asked of Glycon and saying things to the crowds that the great Glycon wishes to bring blessings on your house, and on yours, and on yours.
I deliberately kept the answers vague and things were going well with word of Glycon spreading throughout the ancient world. During a bout of plague i informed the town that to keep them safe Glycon gave me a verse to read out and after hearing it they should place an amulet, purchased from me, and placed above the door which would keep them safe, obviously the amount who still died of the plague was horrendous but dead people don't tend to come and ask for their money back and those who survived came to thank Glycon.
It began to unravel a bit when news of my success reached the ears of the Roman Leader Marcus Aurelius who was set to go to war with the Marcomanni and wanted to ensure victory so i told him that Glycon said if they sacrificed two lions by throwing them into the river then success would be guaranteed.
As it happened taking battle advice from a snake with a fake head is not a great tactical move and the Romans were routed and 20,000 legionnaires died which the uppity Christians used as proof that Glycon was a fraud and their guy, him who made man from scraping together some bits of dirt remember, was the real thing so I said that Glycon is retiring but although he may not be here in person anymore, his radiance will still light up your darkness so up yours, and up yours.

I packed up my snakes false head, my immense wealth and swiftly retired from the prophesy game before an angry Roman Leader with a severely depleted legion came looking for me.
I lived out my life in luxury but just because i was a fraud taking peoples money to hear the words of a God it doesn't mean that all preachers are on the make, it could be the there is a cost to your chosen God relieving you of your sin, judgement, dignity and large wads of cash.