Special Guest Blogger: Egyptian God Ra

When i heard Lucy was going around all the other ancient Gods i knew that there would be lots of explanations put forward to how the Earth and everything got here and i am fine with that, would be boring if there was only one god and there have been thousands of religions and each has a way of explaining things but we all know the truth and i am here to explain it and you can thank me later by burning a few virgins or whatever, that's up to you, i won't turn them down.    
In the beginning there was nothing except a great, chaotic ocean and a huge pyramidal mound with a Lotus flower which blossomed and out i dropped bringing light with me.
Now being the first being is all very nice but pretty lonely so i created Shu, the god of the air and Tefnut the goddess of rain and sent them off to have a bit of a nosey around but they were gone for ages and i was getting a bit concerned so when they came back i was so happy i cried and human beings were born from my tears.
Now with lots of humans milling around i had to find somewhere to stash them all so we created Geb, the god of the Earth, and Nut, the goddess of the sky and thus the sky and the earth were created but the Earth needed a source of heat to grow their crops so as the top God i decided it was up to me to create the Sun which i did by throwing my eye up into the sky to create it but schooloboy error, i had to keep it moving across the sky so i made myself two barges to drag the Sun across the sky and also to drag it through the Duat or underworld back to the East so it could rise again in the morning.
Now the Duat was full of nasties such as the massive snake Apophis who would try and eat the Sun because he was an idiot like that and one time he did, causing an eclipse but he literally couldn't stomach it and spat it back up again, doesn't stop him trying though.
By now the kids were having kids and i was feeling my age so left them to it while i semi-retired and just concentrated on sailing across the sky in my boats and winding through the Underworld's twelve gates without getting zapped by malevolent hideous monsters and generally lazing around sunbathing and recounting my night time adventures with whichever of the Grandkids joined me that day.
As the new religions came along many Gods tried to get in on the act by adding my name to theirs for the glory but we know the truth and you only have to look up at the Sun, that’s my eye there, it's called the Eye of Ra so that's a clue and the damn things moves across the sky and i am sure human scientists have tried to explain it with science which always gives me a chuckle.
Now, about those deep fried virgins you promised...