Special Guest Blogger: Saint Catherine of Alexandria

I was born into nobility in Alexandria, Egypt which at the time was one of the finest cities in the world, and a center of learning and culture as well as faith, mostly faith to be fair, but because of my privileged birth, i naturally received the best and most exclusive education available at the time and the newest religion, Christianity, which was the new thing around town and one day i was instructed by my teacher to pray to Christ, fast and keep vigil for the entire night and to tell the class about it the next day.
Being a good girl, i did and during the night experienced a vision of Mary, the Mother of the Lord and the Christ-child who gave me a golden ring and told me to spread the word of God.
Not too long after this, i came across a public event held at a pagan temple and the Emperor Maxentius was directing the killing of animals as sacrifices so i went up to him and gave him an awful earful about killing God's creatures.  
Now Maxentius was not known for his ability to take an earful without removing something from the earful giver but rather than send my head skittering across the temple floor, he ordered fifty of his foremost philosophers to debate their truth against mine.
Back and forth we went, my Bible teachings against whatever toilet roll book they had until the Emperor grew bored and ordered all fifty of his philosophers be beheaded.
As they knelt awaiting the executioner, i made the sign of the cross on their heads with oil and they looked up at me and asked if they converted to my faith, would my God protect them from their fate, i said 'nah' and to prove my point 50 heads with oily marks on them went rolling away.
The Emperor had another fate for me and devised a wheel of spikes which he planned to torture me on until i changed my mind on the whole God thing by spinning me around on it but the moment i touched the device, it fell apart.
My lack of slow and painful death only further maddened the emperor who rather confusingly tried to win me over by proposing marriage but i refused so he reverted to a good old fashioned head chopping but the spiked wheel is a popular symbol often associated with me.
The pyrotechnic Catherine wheel, which rotates with sparks flying off in all directions, took its name from the wheel they tried to kill me on which on reflection seems a tad inappropriate.