Do you love Christmas but find that whole kid born in a stable story a little unconvincing?
Do you enjoy Christmas Pudding, turkey and sprouts, but find that having to give thanks to God before you tuck in leaves a bad taste in your mouth?
Do you like singing Christmas songs but can't take seriously the ones about angels and baby Jesus?
If you answer yes to at least two of the above then you are most probably an atheist. As an atheist, at some point you will hear the question 'So why celebrate the birth of Jesus if you don't believe in him for the rest of the year?
There is a good chance that this poser will come from one of the few Churchy types that clutter up the place at this time of year and the usual solution is to:
a> pity them for not being as clever as us
b> launch into a tirade that Christmas was a pagan festival that the Christians stole
c> find a witty put down that will have them blustering into their Bibles.
I usually plump for a and pat them on the head and sigh that it's such a shame but that was only because i could never think of anything witty to snap back at them.
Thankfully a friend (a Spurs fan so another group to take pity on) came up with a zinger when the God squad begin being uppity about atheists at Christmas time.
He reminds them that he also doesn't believe in ghosts or Cupid but still celebrate Halloween and Valentines Day. Ouch, take that Holy Roller.
Another tack he takes is that he is celebrating the birth of one of the most influential people in the history of mankind who was born on December 25th, Sir Isaac Newton.
Once the God botherer has been suitably subdued with these lines, THEN you can pity them and pose them the question of how did the three wise men in 1AD Bethlehem manage to get hold of a taxi, a car and a scooter with a hooter?