Saturday, 24 December 2016

Sargent Brown's Strange Christmas Eve Story

It had been a quiet Christmas Eve so far for Sargent Brown on the front desk of Bethlehem Police Station and he was humming along to the Christmas tunes on his radio and eyeing a third mince pie when in burst three shepherds roughly manhandling an Angel. 
The Sargent managed to quiet them down long enough to hear what the problem was.
'There we were, washing our socks and watching X-Factor on ITV and then he turned up and kept turning the TV over to BBC'.
The Sargent looked at the Angel and asked him for his version of events.
'I was just trying to draw their attention to the birth of the child of our Lord who has come to save all mankind' said the Angel handing over his business card which read 'Gabrielle, arch-angel'.
'Ok, if you promise to leave the TV alone' he said to the Angel, will you promise to go see this miracle baby after X-Factor has finished?'
All agreed to the compromise and left Sargent Brown to his radio and plate of mince pies.
His telephone ringing interrupted the 'We Three Kings' song on the radio and before he could speak an angry voice bellowed down the phone 'I WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE NOISE'
'The taxi and the car were bad enough zipping through the town but the man wearing the crown and riding a scooter and honking his hooter was the last straw'.
The Sargent promised he would send out a camel backed Officer to check and hung up. 
Just as he was considering what a strange night it had been a cacophony of noise from outside and in stepped an irate innkeeper.
Sargent Brown sighed as the innkeeper explained how he had allowed a couple to stay in his stable as he was fully booked but when he went to check on them they had not only emptied out the pig trough to lay their baby but the cows couldn't get to their hay and the sheep were being sick because they had eaten some frankincense that the couple had carelessly left laying around. 
Keen to empty the car park of livestock, Sargent Brown said he would investigate in the morning and the inn keeper stomped away.
'What a weird night' Sargent Brown sighed and looked out of his windows at the snow that began to gently fall. In the distance he saw a black car driving towards the police station.
It screeched to a halt at the door and out jumped a man dressed like a bat.
'Officer, Officer' he shouted bursting through the station doors, 'Robin has flown away and i found these on the motorway' he held up a pair of knickers with the name 'Property of Father Christmas' written on the inside. 
That's it, i'm off' Sargent Brown said and pushing the Bat dressed man out the door, clocked off early locked the station doors and went home to watch the Bethlehem's Got Talent Christmas Special.

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