Thursday, 17 April 2014

Men And Books

On the 10th September 2001 the book 'My Pet Goat' was an unknown tale about a goat that eats everything but on 11th September it became one of the most famous books in the World as George W Bush heard about the attacks while having it read to him by a child.
After being told, Bush continued to sit there listening for a further seven minutes before deciding he had better do something, the time between being told and doing something explained by his supporters as 'The President projecting strength and calm until he could better understand what was happening' but we all know he wanted to know how that bad boy ended.
Bush is not alone in not being big on reading books himself, a Reading Agency says that 30% of men have not read a book since school with 'not really wanting to' the main justification.
Now if you are a man, or know one, i'm about to make a list of books that i recommend for them which may suit their more limited abilities.

1. Colouring books. Lots of pictures and you get to play with crayons and no difficult words to read.   
2. Pop up books. As these are aimed at children no tricky words of over two syllables to struggle over.
3. Audio Books. Have an actor read out all those difficult sentences for you.
4. My Pet Goat. Find out what enthralled GWB so much that he couldn't tear himself away. 

If all else fails, follow the George W Bush method and get a child to read a book to you. What i don't recommend is for men to run before they can walk so if you own a pair of testicles and you are tempted to read a book, start off at your intelligence level, approx aged 5, and then slowly build up from the likes of 'The Hungry Caterpillar' to something a bit more complex like 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' before you even consider tackling more grown up literature like Harry Potter.
You never know, one day you may become confident enough to REACH THE BLOODY INSTRUCTIONS ON THINGS!!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Instructions were written by men for women...

Q

Lucy said...

If they were written by men for men it would just say 'Tools needed: Hammer, Instructions: Hit it'.

Anonymous said...

Right! Men know how to do everything. It is women that need instructions.

If not for women, humans would still live in caves.

Q

Keep Life Simple said...

If not for men, women would be living in caved with flowers...

Q

Lucy said...

Nice try to cover that Freudian slip.

Anonymous said...

Oh, it was intentional.

Women drove men out of their caves - nag nag nag - the mother of invention!

Men invented everything. Women add important things like flowers, drapes, knickknacks...

Q

Anonymous said...

Of course, men have to hang the drapes... Hammer please no instructions necessary.

Q