Thursday, 31 December 2015

Keeping Your New Year Resolutions

New Year Resolutions are a bit hit and miss, set the bar too high (stopping smoking or biting your nails) and it's failure on the morning of 1st January and setting it too low (not eating chocolate between 11pm and midnight at the weekend) feels like you are not really entering into the spirit of things. 
Luckily i have a great way of making you stick to your resolutions by using a punishment worse than whatever evil you are considering giving up.
Everybody has a thing they hate, a football team, a political party or even a cause and this is my suggestion for keeping, or at the very least making it harder, to break that resolution.
You write down your resolution, stopping smoking for example, and you put it in an envelope with a cheque for £50 (amount depending on how confident you are) made out to the absolute last cause you would give money to be it the Countryside Alliance if you are an anti-hunt supporter, the Labour Party if you are a dyed in the wool Tory or even the Tottenham Supporters Club if you are an Arsenal fan.
The envelope goes to a friend with the express demand that if you break the resolution, they post the cheque to whoever you made it out to.
If by a certain date, July 2nd for example which is the middle day of the year, you have stuck to your resolution then you get the envelope back and get to rip up the cheque and defy the hated organisation or football team the payment.   
It is amazing how much the threat of helping out someone or something you hate with your hard earned cash keeps your focus.  
Personally i have resolved to not play any Phil Collins songs on the CD Player. It was only later it was pointed out that i don't own a single Phil Collins song but by then the envelope with the cheque made out to the Catholic Church had been handed over, oh well, sorry Pope.

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