Sunday, 6 December 2015

Socialism In America

Socialism is all about collecting taxes from every paying citizen and providing programs that benefit all but hang on, you want the government to get the hell out of the way out and let you live your lives. Hell yeah!
In a 'It's a Wonderful Life' type scenario, let's go to an America where Socialism doesn't exist, where the services owned and controlled by the government for the benefit was abolished and let's have a peek at what's going on.

For a start, America who? Oh that place, it was laid waste years ago because there wasn't a military, the people decided having a military funded and run by the Government from their taxes was Socialist and disbanded it along with the Customs and Border Patrols and six months later it was over-run by Costa Rican's armed with tree branches.

The history books in this alternative America where evil Socialist Government run programs funded by the taxpayer doesn't exist show that the Americans escaping the marauding Costa Rican's armed with big twigs were hampered in their escape by a lack of proper roads. Turns out the roads and highways were funded by Socialist means so they stopped maintaining them and they spent so long digging themselves out of potholes that the Costa Rican's caught them.
Those that did manage to navigate the roads were caught at the rivers because when they disbanded the road maintenance services, they also stopped the Bridge maintenance teams which were also funded by their taxes.

In the build up to the Costa Rican invasion, some people did try to find out where they had gone wrong by reading history books or visiting a museum but as public libraries and Museums were funded by the Government, they had been closed down a long time ago.
Many burnt down as no taxpayer-funded evil Socialist Fire Department existed and the arsonists were never caught due to the taxpayer funded socialist program called the Police wasn't there to serve and protect.

There was no CIA and FBI to help catch the criminals and even if they did, there were not any Courts to process them or Prison System to hold them as they were all closed down in the great Socialism purge.

Some had the idea of sending letters to ask for help but as the Postal Service was a Government run system, all the post boxes had long been removed, along with the taxpayer funded street lights and bus stops.

The Costa Rican's soon found that America was a filthy place thanks to the lack of rubbish collection, public landfills, and sewer systems which being Socialist programs had all been stopped. 
The Zoo's only contained the bleached bones of the former animals after they become the victims of the Socialist programs ceasure and the Public Parks gates were locked, the public beaches polluted and Mount Rushmore and The Lincoln Memorial, all formerly maintained with tax dollars, now in disrepair.

As the IRS had been disbanded (evil Socialists and all that), America was also financially broke so soon after the evil that was Socialism was expunged for all time, they quickly found out they had no money to fund anything else and it was the lack of funds to pay the Coasta Rican's the 300 colones they owed them that led to the invasion. Europe did consider helping them but the hotline to the White House had been disconnected as the publicly paid for White House had been turned into a car park and the President was working as a travelling weatherman, a job much in demand since the National Weather Service had been closed by anti-Socialists demanding their tax dollars not be used to warn them of Force 5 hurricanes about to slam into them.

Deciding that to put America right would cost more than the 300 Colones they now had, the Costa Rican's threw down their tree branches and went back home leaving the few remaining Americans to sit and watch the tumbleweed blow across the public school playgrounds, deserted long ago on account of public schools being part of a Socialist conspiracy.

So back to this dimension where you can drive on maintained roads, be protected by the police, have your house fire put out, visit a library, museum, park, zoo, clean beach or Mount Rushmore. Where the rubbish is collected and the sewers work or you can catch a bus even at night thanks to working street lights.

Thank you very much Socialist Government programs. You are very welcome.

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