Some would describe me as a hero of the poor who swept away decades of corruption while others just call me the fat dictator in a stupid beret but any man who is loved by the poor and hated by the rich must have done something right.
It was unlucky for me that during my leadership of Venezuela the Americans had a 18 carat moron in charge, a man i called the Devil and a donkey, George W Bush.
Remember that this was the era of Somalia, Haiti, Kosovo, Iraq and Afghanistan when America attempted to bring peace to the world by going to war with other nations, a war against war with those countries who went to war because they were so against war they were prepared to go to war to fight in a war against war. Yes, really.
So while the retarded cowboy was off killing people, i was taking my country which had been ravished by years of right wing corruption under Capitalism, and set about improving the lot of the majority and not the few.
As a Socialist i was motivated by the desire to improve the quality of life for all members of society and to redistribute the resources to redress inherent inequalities and what i did was not such a revolutionary idea, i just let the people keep the profits from the natural resources of their country to better their lives. Shocking concept right.
My record includes introducing 1m free literacy courses, building free medical centers and hospitals and hiring 20,000 more doctors, constructing schools in the poorest neighbourhoods and giving away 1.8m free school meals, subsidising supermarkets to reduce the cost of food, reducing poverty from 60% to 27%, reducing inflation from 120% to 20% and grew the Venezuelan economy by 80%.
Sure the the most blinkered McCarthy era relics will not admit that the first serious attempt at a modern form of Socialism was a roaring success but then the current advocates for the opposite of Socialism is called Trump which is the English word for a fart while Johnson is the American slang for a penis and that just about sums them both and their Capitalist policies up completely.
All things considered, i don't think i did to bad for a fat bloke in a silly hat.
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