My legacy seems to be an as a mustache-twirling despot bedecked in fancy garb, munching on a giant chicken leg and executing his wives willy-nilly which to be fair isn't far from the truth.Catherine of Aragon was one but she refused to give birth to a son so i divorced her, created a new religion to marry Anne Boleyn but a daughter was the best she could do so off for the chop she went.
Jane Seymour was next and she gave me a son, Prince Edward, but then went and dropped dead so next up was Anne of Cleves who i married based on only seeing her oil painting but she turned out to not be an oil painting so back to the divorce court to marry Catherine Howard who was a massive flirt so i called the axeman again and the final wife was Catherine Parr who was the only one lucky enough to marry me and not be divorced or dead at the end of it.
It wasn't just wives i had executed, Thomas Cromwell was one of my greatest friends but i married Anne of Cleves at his suggestion so sent him to the Tower of London and had him executed obviously.
Something which doesn't get enough coverage is my groinal area, or rather the codpiece that covered it as i made breeches popular but only because it allowed me to wear a huge cod piece which made me look like i was hung like a horse so trousers become known as a symbol of power and men were donning breeches everywhere.
Apart from the six wives and having a dong like a rhino's leg, i am also most famous for starting a new religion so i could get divorced but in 16th century England those pesky Catholics were uncool about the whole adultery-divorce thing so i flipped off the Pope and formed the Church of England and as i loved executions almost as much as i hated wedding anniversaries, beheaded anyone who disagreed with it.
Turned out making my own church just so i could marry a young, hot Princess was a complete waste of time because by the time it all went through Anne's head was in a basket and i was showing Catherine of Aragon the inside of my cod piece.
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