I ruled as the King of England for 10 years but was only in England for six months during my entire reign as i was off earning my nickname of 'Lionheart' by fighting crusades against the Muslims in the Middle East like some sort of 12th Century John Rambo.I gave Britain the Three Golden Lions badge as i thought that a lion best personified the English qualities of strength, courage, dignity and pride but they said i should use a native animal but three badgers or three squirrels just didn't quite cut it.
My courtiers said that as King it might be a good idea to spend a bit more time visiting my own Country but i checked my diary and said that it was hard to fit it into my busy fighting schedule but they insisted that the plebs would get upset if i went abroad again so i decided to do a whistle-stop tour of the main parts of the nation, kissed some babies, shook some hands and then grabbed my sword and buggered back to the Middle East to whack up some more Muslim's.
My greatest foe during the Crusades was Saladin and despite being enemies in a religious war, we got on really well when we weren't catapulting the crap out of other, he even sent his own personal physicians to nurse me back to health when i fell ill with fever.
I died while walking along a vanquished armies castle walls in France, with most of the castle's defenders dead, i saw one determined, lone archer left and he was batting away arrows with a dented frying pan and shouting insults at the top of his young lungs.
I laughed so hard that i dropped my shield and the froggie git fired an arrow through me!
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