Transcript: White House WHO Funding Meeting

Don't ask me how but i have got the transcript of the Oval Office meeting between Donald Trump and Mike Pence where the decision to stop funding the World Health Organisation was taken.


TRUMP: Hey Mike, We have the best numbers, better than China's, the most coronavirus in the world. Its a beautiful virus...'
Pence: Sir, tens of thousands are dying and they are blaming you
TRUMP: Me? I didn't do nothing
Pence: That's the problem sir, we told you on the 4th January and you didn't do anything until 31 January when you banned foreigners flying in from some parts of China
TRUMP: Damn those Chinese, can't we blame them?
Pence: Difficult Sir, you said The United States greatly appreciates their efforts and transparency in fighting Coronavirus and thanked President Xi.
TRUMP: Damn Mike, it's election year, i can't be seen to be incompetent. Can we blame Obama somehow?
Pence: Tough Sir as you binned the National Security Council's pandemic response team he set up.
TRUMP: Hell Mike, help me out here, what about the World Health Organisation?
Pence: We could say they were slow to warn us about it Sir
TRUMP: When did they tell us?
Pence: The same day they found out
TRUMP: Hmmm, so by not telling us quicker they failed in there basic duty and must be held accountable
Pence: Therefore wrecking the American economy in the process, brilliant Sir
TRUMP: Do you think the American public will believe us Mike? Maybe we need a video pointing out all the bits where i look good and like i was doing something other than playing golf and watching Fox News.
Pence: We could make a video Sir, though we will have to edit out the bits where you called it a hoax, said it was like the flu and that it will just go away
TRUMP: Do it Mike and announce we will stop funding the WHO just to drive home how it's all their fault.
Pence: Do you really think during a global health emergency this is the time to withdraw American funding from the organization whose job it is to fight global health emergencies?
TRUMP: Sure! Cheer Up Mike, we got Health insurance and the next election is in the bag
Pence: I find it hard to believe the voters are stupid enough to give us another term
TRUMP: Fox News is always interviewing bankrupt small business owners, workers recently made redundant, homeowners facing eviction and people with no Health Insurance and they are still wearing Vote Trump hats. 
Pence : Stupid, stupid, stupid,
TRUMP: Exactly, now keep Melania busy for 20 minutes and send in that hot nurse in the short skirt to take my temperature and lock the door behind you.