My mother was also my niece but lets not get bogged down with that, i am most famous for leading 300 Spartans into a fight with the Persian King Xerxes, a feat so great that a film was made about it thousands of year later and it was almost historically accurate, especially the six packs. I really did keep power kicking the messengers of Xerxes into Wells but then they kept standing next to them and anyway we weren't big on all that diplomacy stuff, far easier to just kill them and do it in that Spartan way, in slow motion and with neatly coiffed hair.
Us Spartans were known for our hair, adult Spartan males kept their hair long and flowing except when we went into battle, it was how many of our enemies knew that an arse kicking was coming their way, it was a thing we did as nothing strikes fear into the hearts of our enemies than a bunch of naked men braiding each others hair, we may have been constantly grooming our 'dos but we still managed to look badass doing it.
Hollywood doesn't just make films about any old historical figures and i didn’t get where i am today trying to be reasonable so when Xerxes demanded that Sparta submit to him, and this was the whack-job who ordered his men to flog a river after the waves knocked down his bridge remember, i famously said 'Come and take them', the next line was not quite so well known but went something like 'Oh Shit, he's coming to get them, shit, shit, shit'.
Following a lot of the most badass lines in history, us Spartans fought in the shade of the enemy's arrows and soon we went from being full of fight to now being just full of Persian arrows but the legend of us 300 Spartans (and no mention of the other 7,000 of the non-Spartans on our side) taking on the Persian Army was forged into history along with our impressive six packs.
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