Special Guest Blogger: Kim Jong Il

Of all the Korea's in the world, North Korea is the best but you don't have to take my word for it, the ever-reliable North Korean state media has it all documented.
When i was born there was a number of miraculous events, a double rainbow appeared in the sky and a new star was formed but so is the nature of the imperialist west and people who were not otherwise required by law to believe it, they dispute much of what we said.
I can confirm that as the Supreme Leader and practically a God, i did not defecate and the real-life unicorn lair we found inside a cave was true, as was the world-record golf score of 34 across 18 holes including eleven holes-in-one but i don't like to boast, that's such an American thing.
The 1,500 books i wrote are all available in the state library but my son would say to me "Why doesn't everyone on Earth love our glorious state? and i deduced it was because of jealousy because i was so damned great.
Unfortunately, even god like supreme leaders have to make way eventually and as befits a god like supreme leader, when i died ice which had formed over a famous lake allegedly cracked, mysterious lights were seen on top of a sacred mountain, and snowstorms hit parts of the country but not before i installed my youngest son, Kim Jong Un as my successor.
The Kim family talent pool is getting rather shallow and my eldest son Kim Jong Nam had fallen out of favor when he accidentally got nerve agent all over his face then there's Kim Pyong-il but he was off enjoying himself and then Kim Jong-chul who makes Dale Winton look butch and finally my daughter Kim Yo-Jong, but she unfortunately has a vagina so is not eligible.
I am sure that my Kim Jong-Un will do well, he has a real toughness about him from the problem that he has always had with his weight, it's always tough being the fat kid in school but its even tougher when you are the only fat kid in your entire country.