Thursday, 18 January 2018

Merci Monsieur Macron

In exchange for the British Government shoving £45m towards the French to keep the British border on French soil, that nice President Macron is lending us the Bayeux Tapestry on condition that they can move it without the 900 year old piece of cloth falling apart.  
Merci Mr Macron for sending us a reminder of the time the French gave us plucky Brits a damn good licking but we cannot allow the offer to go without us offering something British in return, apart from the £45 million pounds anyway.
We could return Arsene Wenger to you but you have enough Football managers so what about bread as those silly long things you carry around under your arms is not bread so how about a few thousand loaves of Hovis?
We have your Rosetta Stone still somewhere which you can lend if we can find it or how about one of the Trafalgar Square lions made from the French cannons from ships captured at the battle of Trafalgar.
How about we give you back Les Misérables because we took Victor Hugo's great book and turned it into a not great musical so sorry and take it back and see if you can fix it.
One thing we have which you don't is a Royal Family, so how about we send some of the Royals your way, we have more than enough to spare and some more on the way so take your pick, they come in all shapes, sizes and colours from grey to ginger to bald so pick the ones you like and we will wrap them up for you.

No comments: