If i lived on Mercury my birthday cake would have 203 candles on it today. They would be melted before i got chance to blow them out as temperatures on Mercury reach 427C and Venus is even hotter at an average of 462C but i would only be a very hot and sweaty 79.
The Happy Birthday banners and foil balloon would have a big 26 on it if i lived on Mars but if i grew up on Jupiter i would be 4 and could legitimately eat my ice-cream with my fingers and stick smarties up my nose.
Elsewhere in the Solar System i would be 1 on Saturn and even younger on Uranus and Neptune but the fates decreed that i was born and raised on Earth which has gone around the Sun exactly 49 times since i was dragged screaming into the World.
Today is Easter Sunday and to celebrate the day Jesus invented Easter Eggs or whatever he did, the coffee shop is shut and the regular 0104 Birthday Club is postponed for this year so Happy Returns for the day Chris, Philip, Susan, David and Jimmy and have a great time, don't eat too much chocolate and see you next year unless i'm on Jupiter in which case i'm not old enough to drink Latte's and mine will be a Fanta.
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