The top three people designated with coming up with ways to keep us safe from Coronavirus have gone down with...wait for it...Coronavirus which means that you couldn't make it up has been not only made up but is wearing the sort of thick rubber gloves and masks usually associated with the people who change the sheets in Moscow Hotel rooms after a Donald Trump visit.
Speaking of the Trumps, his America is now the Ground Zero in Coronavirus and his people have reacted in the way only Americans can by buying more guns and ammunition.
To be fair only Americans can because they are the only ones with such mind-numbingly stupid gun laws but with the schools and colleges closed, there are fewer of their favoured locations for the gun nuts to use them but as one numpty twanged: 'Politicians and anti-gun people have been telling us for the longest time that we don’t need guns. But right now, a lot of people are truly scared'.
Indeed, one gunshop owner said that the type of guns being bought was reflective of the fear with almost no interest in hunting rifles and customers opting for AR-15 semi-automatic assault-style rifles.
While the rest of the World panic buys toilet roll and hand sanitizer, America faces a shortage of killing machines which can fire 45 rounds per minute and is the favoured gun of the mass gun shooters.
You do have to feel for the 'normal Americans' because if they have not got enough to contend with a clearly incompetent President amidst a killer Pandemic sweeping their nation, they also have a large part of the nation who have decided to keep their families safe by skipping the aisles of masks, gloves and handwash and going straight to the high-powered weapon of death section.
Billy Bob, Billy Ray, Bobby Joe, Cooter, Jim Bob, Fruitbat, put down that moonshine and fetch papa his gun, ya'll got some virus shootin' to do.
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