I was quite shocked to see that the history Books had me down as a cripple with a hump and a withered arm who killed my nephews after keeping them in the Tower of London.It was all Tudor propaganda written by William Shakespeare and Thomas Moore so it's time to tell the truth about sweet little me.
When my brother Edward died, his kids were too young to rule so i kindly took the throne on their behalf, i never poisoned my wife or bumped off her daddy, the Tudors painted me as the bad guy, said i drowned my brother in a large vat of wine and imprisoned my young nephews and i never once uttered anything about my kingdom for a horse and my back was perfectly straight, no hump.
I did place my two young nephews in the Tower of London though but that was punishment for getting their sticky fingers all over my crown.
I introduced the bail system although to be honest that was mostly to give myself a get out of jail free card as things were getting out of hand with Henry Tudor, the most boring Henry who even Shakespeare couldn't find anything noteworthy to write about.
It was nice that my skeleton has been found under a Leicester Pub Car Park although the reconstruction they made of my face didn't look anything like me but i won't be the last bloke to have his face reconstructed after leaving a pub car park in Leicester.
What isn't so nice is that my name has become synonymous with Cockney rhyming slang but beggars can't be choosers so thank you for your services Brad Pitt and Douglas Hurd, but 'I'm just going for a Richard the Third" will now be making a long overdue comeback.
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