Prior to my presidency, i was a Hollywood actor and it was said that many of my speeches scripts all came from famous movie clips but frankly, i didn't give a damn.There was also a conspiracy theory that i was shot in an attempt to boost my popularity but i was shot in the chest and if i was picking a place to be shot i would have chosen somewhere that wouldn't do much damage and i didn't use much, the head or somewhere.
I always hated the Communists, i was as mad as hell and said i'm not going to take this anymore so i provided the FBI with the names of actors within the motion picture industry whom i believed to be commies and was famously harsh on the Soviets during my Presidency but not as harsh as i was on America's poor who could go whistle, they knew how to whistle, they just put their lips together and blew.
I opposed Medicare, the Food Stamp Program and raising the minimum wage preferring to spend the money on building weapons which i gave to those good old boys the Mujaheddin in Afghanistan.
I was also strongly against abortion but not so much against it on moral grounds considering it wrong to kill an unborn child at 16 weeks, hell just wait till they're 16 years old and then i could send them to a warzone with the same result, I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
As i got older i began to forget names and confused real life and the things i saw on the television thinking they had happened to me, Nancy had to remind me at least twice a day to put my trousers on although having a failing memory did came in very handy whenever i was asked about selling arms to Iran to fund the Contra's in Nicaragua, that was another nice mess i almost gotten me into!
When i died my funeral attracted all my favourite World Leaders, of all the funerals in all the towns in all the world, who walked into mine but Margaret Thatcher, Gerhard Schröder, Silvio Berlusconi, Hamid Karzai and my special friend Mikeal Gorbachev but i don't remember seeing any of those freedom fighting Taliban boys there, nice boys, i called them the moral equivalent of the founding fathers and invited them to the White House, i do sometimes wonder what became of them, damn this flaky memory
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