What the natives thought as they watched some strange white man babbling away in a foreign language is anyone guess but i can only imagine the excitement back home in Blighty of me claiming a land half a world and two years away and which most travellers would die of scurvy before getting to.
Of course we did find a use for it, we sent our criminals there and look what they did to the place, let the local nursery school name their towns and cities so you can visit Nobby, Bong Bong, Wagga Wagga, Cocklebiddy, Coo Wee Rup, Humpty Doo, Iron Knob, Koolyanobbing, Mount Buggery, Wooloolmooloo or Tittybong.
It's amazing they did as well as they did considering the clientele and not to mention that every animal i saw in Australia was trying to kill us, jellyfish, octopus and sharks in the sea while on land you have to dodge deadly spiders, crocodiles, dingoes, ants and giant centipedes.
Amazingly i managed to escape there alive and was actually killed during an exploratory voyage in the Pacific while attempting to kidnap the Island of Hawaii's monarch, Kalani'opu'u, because he nicked one of our ships.
Unfortunately i got clobbered over the head with a coconut and disemboweled, boiled to remove my flesh and my bones returned to my crew for a formal burial at sea which apparently is an honour but can't say it felt much like one at the time.
So enjoy your time in Australia, the land that invented a bent stick you can never throw away and try not to get eaten by a wild animal and wear your hat with corks with pride when you visit Cocklebiddy.
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