Special Guest Blogger: Emperor Tiberius

I thought i was a pretty effective leader, i built my city-state into a prosperous, well-equipped place to raise a family which in theory, this makes my dominion one of the best spots to crash-land when your homemade time machine inevitably breaks down and leaves you stranded in the 1st century BC. In practice, it would take roughly 5 seconds for me to give the order to have your dick tied with lute strings so you couldn't pee, then forced to drink copious amounts of wine until your bladder eventually burst.
As i ruled Rome before my great-nephew Caligula took over, my time in power is generally overshadowed by the horse-worshiping reign of bat-shittery that followed which is unfair because i was a perfectly capable insane supervillain myself.
One subject presented me with a fish he had caught to show his affection for his leader but he was an ugly brute and if there is one thing i hate it's ugly people so i responded by ordering my guards to scrub his face raw with the fish's sharp scales, didn't work, he was just ugly and bloody now.
I was known as a great military leader and orator who gave great speeches, my many ejaculations were famous throughout the land. It was also considered that my sexual perversions with young boys was a bit on the highly depraved side, those ejaculations were also famous throughout the land but it was the result of an altogether more divine ejaculation which meant that another man was around at the same time as me time, Jesus of Nazareth, means mine are often forgotten.
Unfortunately, being a nasty git is not destined to last, and i eventually found out that citizen's exploding bladders and being a massive pervert tend to come with a huge side order of karma and after i was smothered to death (don't ask me who by, i had a pillow over my face at the time) there were celebrations when i died but they didn't last that long as following me was Caligula, and that boy was proper crazy.