Turkmenistan isn't known for much of anything, most people wouldn't be able to find it on a map but if you ever find yourself in central Asia and see a massive Archway with a golden statue of me that rotates to face the sun, congratulations, you found us. Have a bagel.Being the President for Life, i thought well i may as well rename some things so January became 'Turkmenbashi', the calendars changed the days of the week from Saturday to 'Young Day' and Sunday to 'Spirituality Day' and 'bread' to 'Gurbansoltan', which was also the name of my mother.
I banned beards, chewing tobacco and lip-syncing basically because i could, i was the damned President for Life.
I establishing a national holiday on my birthday, declared a National Melon Day because who doesn't like melons,
I also wrote a book called Ruhnama, which meant 'Book of the Soul' and then made everyone in the country read it, students studied it in schools and i even made having an in-depth knowledge of it part of the driving test. I even launched a copy of it into space for aliens to read because it seemed a bit stingy to not let the Universe take a peek at it also.
I did say i made an agreement with Allah that anybody who read my book at least three times would automatically go to heaven but some people thought my changes were a bit over the top and there was a few assainations on my life, mostly from 16 year old Turkman who failed their driver's license exam for the sixth time but i escaped every one of them before dying of cardiac arrest in 2006.
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