If there one thing that my Book of Mormon didn't make clear when i translated it from ancient Egyptian texts was exactly where Kolob is.Mormon scripture doesn't differentiate between stars and planets, so everything in space is called a star. This means that when us Mormons die, our souls either travel the vastness of space to land on a paradise they can call home for all eternity, or they fry forever on the surface of a sun.
My first taste of religion was in New York when i experienced a series of visions, including one which i saw 'two personages' (presumably God the Father and Jesus Christ) and another in 1823 in which an angel directed me to a buried book of golden plates inscribed with a Judeo-Christian history of an ancient American civilization.
This became the Book of Mormon, which i claimed was a translation of golden plates which had been compiled by the ancient prophet-historian Mormon.
I am considered a prophet of the Mormon Church as God gave me his commandments which were no booze, fags, coffee and tea but my personal favourite was the multiple wives thing but who am i to doubt Gods word, i had over 30 wives in my lifetime, and claimed a revelation from God instructing me to gain plural wives in order to gain a higher ranking in God's kingdom.
Practicing adult Mormons also had to wear religious underpants as a source of protection from the evils of the world.
I do sometimes feel a pang of jealousy for atheists, all that spare time from all the reading, arguing, and thinking they don't have to do would be nice.
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