Right around the time the American colonies were throwing tea into Boston harbour and moaning about taxation, i was one of the most iconic male whores of all time and wrapping up a sex tour around Europe, bouncing between major cities and leaving so many impregnated ladies in my wake that it shouldn't be much of a surprise that i ended up sleeping with at least one person in my family tree. Unfortunately, that one person happened to be my daughter.I lost my virginity aged 11 to my tutor’s younger sister and considered a career in the Church but sex and gambling put a stop to that particular vocation and i did like a practical joke although digging up a corpse and leaving it in my weak hearted friends doorway was a step too far.
When he had a heart attack and the Venetian inquisitors were asking awkward questions i left Venice sharpish for Paris where i swindled many powerful elites but soon i ran out of women in Paris to introduce my penis to so went to Amsterdam and opened a silk factory manned by female only workforce, obviously.
People would say Giacomo, use your gift make money or buy a yacht, maybe a fast horse, and i say Casanova's gift to women is my groin so i went on my infamous year-long sex tour taking in Marseille, Genoa, Florence, Rome, Naples, Modena, and Turin, as one does. I got to see so many wonderful cities partly because i got kicked out of nearly every place i went because after sex i would give the woman a biscuit and i was causing an obesity problem.
I turned up in London which is a beautiful city. A real special place filled with hopes and dreams and beautiful and hot women, and men like me.
Well not many men like me, but it is a jungle out there and i had my fair share of Rhino's in England. I love all woman, even the fat ones, though I didn't tell anybody about that but then i couldn't because i didn't speak a word of English which was a slight problem when attempting to charm women on the British Isles but i still managed to catch venereal disease, so i did okay.
I lost my left hand in a duel over the heart, or more accurately certain other body parts, of an Italian actress and once fell for a young man who turned out to be a woman in disguise which was a nice bonus and had a ménage à trois with two nuns, one of who became pregnant so explain that one to the Chief Nun.
The daughter thing is even worse than it sounds, i didn't know until after she was pregnant with what turned out to be my own grandson and i asked her to marry me and then the mother decided to reveal that i was the girl's father. Oops.
I died in Bohemia working as a librarian which is a beautiful end to my story, like a gorgeous woman bending over to pick something up you know?
People would say Giacomo, use your gift make money or buy a yacht, maybe a fast horse, and i say Casanova's gift to women is my groin so i went on my infamous year-long sex tour taking in Marseille, Genoa, Florence, Rome, Naples, Modena, and Turin, as one does. I got to see so many wonderful cities partly because i got kicked out of nearly every place i went because after sex i would give the woman a biscuit and i was causing an obesity problem.
I turned up in London which is a beautiful city. A real special place filled with hopes and dreams and beautiful and hot women, and men like me.
Well not many men like me, but it is a jungle out there and i had my fair share of Rhino's in England. I love all woman, even the fat ones, though I didn't tell anybody about that but then i couldn't because i didn't speak a word of English which was a slight problem when attempting to charm women on the British Isles but i still managed to catch venereal disease, so i did okay.
I lost my left hand in a duel over the heart, or more accurately certain other body parts, of an Italian actress and once fell for a young man who turned out to be a woman in disguise which was a nice bonus and had a ménage à trois with two nuns, one of who became pregnant so explain that one to the Chief Nun.
The daughter thing is even worse than it sounds, i didn't know until after she was pregnant with what turned out to be my own grandson and i asked her to marry me and then the mother decided to reveal that i was the girl's father. Oops.
I died in Bohemia working as a librarian which is a beautiful end to my story, like a gorgeous woman bending over to pick something up you know?
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