Special Guest Blogger: Maria Eleonora of Brandenburg

I had it all, the title, wealth, the beautiful face and suitors from all over Europe who tried to win my hand in marriage including King Charles I of England but i fell in love with King Gustav of Sweden. He gave me his heart and i mean that literally, when he died i refused to bury his body for more than a year and as a compromise they removed his heart and i hung it above my bed in a gold casket. I was romantic like that.
We had all the court buffoons and jesters as well as the hilarious 17th-century craze for keeping dwarfs as court curios but the one thing i couldn't have was a son to become a male heir and it drove me crazy and Sweden was really, really boring.
If i had given Charles of England a bit more encouragement i could have been Queen of England with its rolling hills and green and pleasant land but i went for Gustav and Sweden and the freezing temperatures, snow and forests and the roads which were always muddy and the tiny wooden houses so one time, my lady in waiting and i escaped by sneaking out of a kitchen window, hopping onto a boat and then a carriage, and boarding a ship to Denmark and freedom.
Unfortunately, after all the running away drama, Denmark was even more boring than Sweden, it must be a Nordic thing, so i came back.
I did bare the King a girl named Christina and it said that i immediately rejected her because i wanted a boy, and i can see how that rumour got started because the child was very accident prone, she somehow tumbled down a full flight of stairs, was dropped a few times on the hard, stone floor and a large wooden beam fell into her cradle but she grew up to be Queen of Sweden and then reaslised that was like being Queen of Squaresville so abdicated and went off to live in Rome, so that turned out okay.