My finest role was as Count Dracula, and everyone loves Vampires as evidenced by all the TV shows with vampires produced each and every day in the world today.Whenever i was starting out and would receive a script to read through i would comment that it needed vampires. Sure enough they soon got fed up with it and stopped sending me things to read through but i stubbornly maintain that any story can be improved with the introduction of the blood drinking living dead. Just think how much better Pride and Prejudice would have been if Mr Darcy had taken to rampaging through the village of Longbourn in an orgy of blood lust instead of chasing the prudish Elizabeth about the place but then Jane Austen seemed to do quite well without my advice. Could have been better though.
My Vampire career began when i played Dracula in a stage play which was so frightenig that in one theatre in San Francisco there was actual real life nurses on hand with smelling salts, my acting was THAT good but it was also the Hungarian accent and the way i said 'I vant to suck your blood'.
After appearing as Dracula in the iconic 1931 film, i was briefly the most popular star in Hollywood and i got more female fan mail than even Clark Gable. I told you, chicks dig vampires.
Dracula was part of the core group of monsters Universal Studios kept on hand along with Frankenstein, the Mummy, the Invisible Man and the Wolf Man although being the go-to guy for the ghoulish role, it typecast me but it got me the chicks, including Betty Boop, or rather the woman that Betty Boop is based on, Clara Bow.
When i died they even buried me in one of my Dracula capes but in true horror fashion, rather than die peacefully and leave a used-vampire-cape-sized hole in Hollywood, i still made movies like Plan 9 from Outer Space which came out three years after my death with cobbled together footage of me previously unreleased production as a final tribute to me, in true horror fashion, i refused to just stay dead.
No comments:
Post a Comment