Special Guest Blogger: Pachacuti

My name means 'he who shakes the earth' and i was the ninth Sapa Inca of the Kingdom of Cusco which was little more than a small hamlet which i transformed into the Inca Empire complete with the Inca site of Machu Picchu.
I did that by taking over from my brother, Urco, after he ran away from an invading army of our arch-enemies, the Chanka, but i took charge, beat them and took the crown. I captured many Chanka leaders and presented them to my father Viracocha for him to wipe his feet on their bodies, the traditional victory ritual.
I was much more ruthless and conquering than he was and had a vision to expanding my dominion from the valley of Cusco to nearly the whole of western South America and i set out conquering many ethnic groups and states and engineering a reputation as an exceptional leader, the Incan's even began calling me the son of the Sun.
I ran massive programs displacing hundreds of thousands of people and resettling them to colonise the most remote edges of our empire but my most successful tactic was being such a nut that nobody would dare take me on.
I'd behead them and drink from their skulls, pull out their teeth and wear them as charms and make flutes out of their bones but i had a special punishment for any rival chiefs we captured.
I would disembowel them, stuff them full of straw like a gross scarecrow and then rest their fingers on the stretched skin of their belly so in the breeze they'd tap that belly like a drum.
My reputation meant that rather than going through the whole hassle of invading, i would just send a message to other leaders inviting them to join our empire and most accepted peacefully rather than become part of the thigh bone flute orchestra.
I don't know if the rest of my family had a defective gene or something but my other brothers were terrible at the whole conquering thing, honestly some people are natural leaders and bravely explore uncharted territory while other people are lucky to get their loin-clothes on in the morning without serious injury, so i had no choice but to have them killed and two of my three sons turned out to be from the same side of the gene pool so they ended up a bit dead also.
My eldest son was a chip off the old block though and he succeed me when i died and the mighty Incan empire lasted for years and could have kept going if it wasn't for the disease riddled Spanish turning up determined to drag as much of our gold back to Spain as their galleons could carry and sneezing all over us.