Special Guest Blogger: Roman God Sterculius

Romans had an almost uncountable number of gods to be bribed or flattered if life was to proceed smoothly. Virtually every action, event, or object in Roman life was governed by some god or other, we had Spiniensis who presided over the clearing of thorns from gardens, Cardea the goddess of door hinges and Robigus who was the go-to guy for mildew and rust but i was the God of what i liked to call organic fertilization...or poo.
It may seem a strange career choice for an eager young deity so while being the emperor of excrement may not have been a very prestigious gig and you might have even gave a little chuckle that it was what i was in charge of but then did you enjoy your cereal this morning? That stuff literally grew in manure so in the nicest possible way you can eat shit along with the unholy chemicals and pesticides.  
Rome was a very agricultural society and when everything was organically grown good quality fertilizer was essential and extremely important to farmers who valued my blessed fertilizer above all things.
Along with my son, Picus, i taught the use of manure in agricultural processes but the Gods decided that being the son of the Grand Poobah of Poop was not so dignified so the Roman's rewrote our family tree to declare their boy the son of Saturn although personally i would have gone with Caelus, he was called Uranus originally.
Sure it was a dirty, (and smelly) job but someone had to do it if we wanted ripe crops but i always taught farmers at the beginning of their career that agriculture is very much like the manure production and you only get out of it what you put into it.