Special Guest Blogger: Squanto

The White man was coming to our lands long before the Mayflower gang turned up and ruined everything. They would trade with us and the fishermen from northern France and southern England had been coming over every spring to fish for cod and take it back to Europe and then one day European explorers arrived and one of them, Captain George Weymouth, came searching for gold but when he didn't find any, decided that capturing a bunch of us native American Indians instead was just as good and kidnapped us and took us back to England.
I spent a decade in that cold, rainy island where it is dark for 6 months of the year until we were taken to Spain to be sold but a group of local priests took me in and sent me back to England and from there i went back to North America to find that my tribe had been wiped out by smallpox courtesy of the Europeans, thanks guys.
I went to live with the Wampanoag tribe and then the Pilgrims turned up and after a discussion of whether to attack or help them, i persuaded the tribe chief that these guys were not the brightest, one of them had bought 129 pairs of shoes instead of food or seeds and we could be on a nice little earner so as i had picked up the English language during my time over there, i was sent to negotiate with them.
Being not that bright as expected, they were all slowly dying of starvation so i taught them how to plant corn, catch fish, eat wild plants, and other ways to survive and most of them did live and we had a nice little thing going and until even more of them turned up and began encroaching onto our land and stealing our corn.
The Wampanoag's said i was favouring them and when the Indians began pushing back the Pilgrims blamed me for not stopping them so i said right, you stop nicking their land and you stop threatening to scalp them but i am not sure how that turned out because i died straight afterwards after eating some suspiciously weird tasting fish but i am sure that they made up and the Indians and the settlers now live together in peace and harmony because the Christian religion is all about love and peace so how bad can a nation created by religious fanatics be to each other?