Special Guest Blogger: Wolf Tone

There are times in your life when fate is screaming at you to stop doing whatever stupid thing you are doing and change direction and there are some people who take heed and go off and do something else instead and there are those who just say what the hell and plough on regardless even when fate is repeatedly kneeing them in the testicles. I was the second type.
After a brief journey in the world of law and a few run in's with a lawyer named George Hill, i thought it was time to change career and i considered becoming an actor, a lawyer or soldier but my aspiration was to overthrow the Kingdom of Ireland and free my nation of the dreaded British.
I became the head of the Irish Independence movement and my followers called me the Irish George Washington but rather than valiantly leading my forces to victory, founding an independent nation that would go on to become the most powerful in the world, i fell from one disaster to the next and ended up slashing my own throat.
I had a kindred spirit in the Reverend William Jackson who agreed with me that Ireland was ripe for revolution and i drew up a blueprint for him which he showed to a friend who immediately told the British who arrested him for treason and he committed suicide during his trial.
Fearing the same fate, i made a dash to America and decided to direct affairs from the safe distance of the other side of the Atlantic Ocean.
Calling ourselves The United Irishmen, we began to look to France to support a rising with troops, they hated the British as much as us and i took my plan to Paris and the French Colonels agreed that the British Empire should be taken down a peg or two and agreed to send 43 ships and 14,000 men to the coast of Ireland but the luck of the Irish kicked in immediately, sending gales and fog to meet the French fleet whose ships of course all promptly sunk or turned sail and ran away.
We tried again, this time sailing from the Netherlands but ran straight into a British convoy who crushed the French fleet so third time lucky, we sailed again and was immediately captured by the British and taken prisoner.
I was brought ashore at Letterkenny Port and all the captured French forces were to be arrested but my captors didn't even recognise me and i was just starting to think i would have gotten away if Lady Luck hadn't taken the time to deliver a flying dropkick to my nuts yet again. By sheer bad luck, while stepping off the prison boat i happened to be noticed by a passing George Hill, the same one i had argued with several times back when i was practicing law and he ratted me out.
I was charged with treason and sentenced to death which i accepted but made a request that rather than be hanged, i be given a more honorable death by firing squad.
The British, being utter dicks, insisted that hanging was the only way to go so in a strategically ill-considered move, i countered by cutting my own throat and in a daft move the British tried for a week to stop me from dying just so they could kill me instead but i had the last laugh by dying first.