Thursday, 13 February 2014

Giraffe Massacre In Denmark

If reincarnation is true, something you don't want to come back as is a giraffe in Denmark. The last one is still being digested in the stomach of a lion and another Danish zoo is already plotting the demise of the next one.
The Danish Jyllands Park Zoo has said it may have to put down one of its giraffes, Marius, to comply with breeding programme rules.
The Zoo said its unlucky giraffe is a seven-year-old hybrid, also called Marius, which means he is a mix of different sub-species and he is housed with a younger, pure-bred giraffe called Elmer and is expecting to receive a female giraffe to mate with Elmer at some point.
'At the moment, there is no problem' said zoologist Jasper Moehring,' they are good company for each other but the problem will be when we get a female'.
'The genes of the hybrid are too similar to those of other animals in the European breeding programme and risk introducing rare and harmful genes to the giraffe population if he is allowed to breed' explained Copenhagen's scientific director, Bengt Holst, 'The zookeepers at Copenhagen knew it was the best solution for the giraffes there'.
The two Marius's may not agree.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

And here I was thinking that I knew what the word massacre meant.

q

Keep Life Simple said...

you know zoologists are scientists. if they say it is right then it must be so...

q

Keep Life Simple said...

oh, im sorry, I forgot but only if al gore endorses them...

q

Cheezy said...

If 97% of zoologists venture an opinion about a zoological matter, then it's probably safe to conclude that it's more likely to be right than wrong.

And this is the case whateverthefuckalgoresays.

Lucy said...

It was the last line that the whole post was leading towards, where the scientific director said it was 'the best solution for the giraffes'. From what i heard there were offers to take the giraffe elsewhere but they decided to hack it up and feed it to the lions so being flippant i thought, i know one giraffe who may beg to differ from the science directors view. Al Gore's feelings on giraffical matters are unknown at this time. Pretty much ignore everything above the last two sentences, it's just padding to get to the bit at the end really.

Anonymous said...

I actually heard an interview on NPR with the zoologist a couple weeks ago. The NPR guy was pretty incredulous as the scientist explained why the various alternatives were all invalidated.

Cheezy. Dude. Chill some. Im just kidding around.

Q

Cheezy said...

Erm, dude. So am I.

Anonymous said...

Oh. But did you get it? Chill? Get it?

Q

Cheezy said...

No, I haven't had a (to use a medical term) 'chill' all winter. Temperatures in the UK have been unseasonably mild.

Applying the deniers' favourite fallacy here (weather = climate), the is cast iron proof of global warming over this side of the pond.

Anonymous said...

i thought yawl were having floods that can only be explained by global warming...

here we are having the coldest winter we have had... since the 60's. must be gloabl warming.

Cheezy said...

"can only be explained"

Obvious strawman in your word 'only'. Nobody's saying extreme weather events didn't happen in the past. The experts are saying they're just becoming more frequent/likely because of anthropomorphic climate change and (particularly in the case of the extreme cold in the USA this year) the effect of global warming on the Arctic.

Anonymous said...

the US isn't having extreme cold really. press hype. kinda like so called "super storm bob" 2 years ago. it was not an abnormal hurricane except that by the numbers it was long overdue (i'm proud to say that back in 2008 i convinced my company to run a war game where a cat 5 hit Wash DC then moved up and hit NY, then Boston. we were completely prepared for the "super storm").

what made the "super storm" special was the dollar impact of the storm. Not due to the characteristics of the storm, but instead due to 3 things.

Since the last hurricane that made landfall on the upper east coast:

1. Millions of people built too close to the shore.
2. The dollar has inflated dramtically
3. Most people had inadequate insurance (not our customers!)

q