Friday 4 July 2014

Not Born In The USA

Thanks to Horrible Histories, we all know the story of Pilgrim Father William Mullins who took onto the Mayflower 126 pairs of shoes and boots instead of food or seeds and promptly died months after landing, probably furiously gnawing on a pair of loafers.
The perception from the Olde World of the Fourth of July festivities is generally a bemused shrug and gentle mockery of Americans waving flags and shouting 'awesome' while wearing Uncle Sam hats and eating hot-dogs.
I once pointed out to an American that the Pilgrim Fathers, so desperate to leave behind everything England, then went and not only named many towns and cities after places in England and even named Plymouth where they landed after the city where they sailed from. She never got it but irony is not a strong point.
My own theory is that the Pilgrim Fathers didn't leave Britain to escape religious persecution, but because they had silly names like "Remember', Truelove', 'Wrestling', 'Humility' and 'Peregrine' and couldn't stand the endless ribbing.
As England invented America, and America is famous for taking in the tired (World Cup late night games are playing havoc with bedtime) and the poor (no pay rise for 4 years thank you austerity measures) and huddled masses (radiators need bleeding) tempest tost (??), we should be able to pass the US citizenship exam.
I scored 6 out of a possible 10 which means i am an average American so hand me the Uncle Sam hat, a crate of Miller Lite and a gun and a let's mock the limeys and Mad King George who we left behind all those years ago.
Hell yeah, awesome!

7 comments:

Unknown said...

I didn't know that about Mullins and his shoes, not even knew that name. Luckily we weren't taught the USA history when I was in school.

However, I can proudly say that I got a 7 in the exam -better than you:-)- although at least a pair were succesful random.

Lucy said...

I only knew about Mullins though a kids show but thought the whole idea if him only taking shoes for the journey did tickle me.

You are even more of a potential American than me Samuel. I also hold my hands up to guessing some though.

Liber - Latin for "The Free One" said...
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Lucy said...

Mamma mia, Columbus was Italian but if my history lessons are recalled properly, he was bankrolled by the Spanish. His story of discovering America is generally dismissed now though and Leif Erikson is given the crown and i think he was Icelandic.

Unknown said...

Anyway, America was first discovered by Indian, 15.000 years ago, when they crossed Bering from Asia. It`s curious that the merit is given to who arrived thousands of years later, Erikson or Columbus.

Lucy said...

That's a good point Samuel, nobody ever seems to mention the people who were obviously already there before either.

Liber - Latin for "The Free One" said...
This comment has been removed by the author.