Thanks to Horrible Histories, we all know the story of Pilgrim Father William Mullins who took onto the Mayflower 126 pairs of shoes and boots instead of food or seeds and promptly died months after landing, probably furiously gnawing on a pair of loafers.
The perception from the Olde World of the Fourth of July festivities is generally a bemused shrug and gentle mockery of Americans waving flags and shouting 'awesome' while wearing Uncle Sam hats and eating hot-dogs.
I once pointed out to an American that the Pilgrim Fathers, so desperate to leave behind everything England, then went and not only named many towns and cities after places in England and even named Plymouth where they landed after the city where they sailed from. She never got it but irony is not a strong point.
My own theory is that the Pilgrim Fathers didn't leave Britain to escape religious persecution, but because they had silly names like "Remember', Truelove', 'Wrestling', 'Humility' and 'Peregrine' and couldn't stand the endless ribbing.
As England invented America, and America is famous for taking in the tired (World Cup late night games are playing havoc with bedtime) and the poor (no pay rise for 4 years thank you austerity measures) and huddled masses (radiators need bleeding) tempest tost (??), we should be able to pass the US citizenship exam.
I scored 6 out of a possible 10 which means i am an average American so hand me the Uncle Sam hat, a crate of Miller Lite and a gun and a let's mock the limeys and Mad King George who we left behind all those years ago.
Hell yeah, awesome!