I was sat in my living room one day reading a book on Swedish Kings when my wife came in and said 'Darling, i don't want to worry you or anything but I think you might be dead'.Naturally i checked and sure enough i was still breathing so i said she must be mistaken on which she showed me the morning newspaper and sure enough there was an article which stated 'Alfred Nobel, the Swedish chemist and inventor of dynamite, died yesterday in the French resort of Cannes' which was a real shock because i had spent yesterday food shopping in Malmo.
Turned out they had mistaken me for my brother, Ludvig Noble, which i admit was more of a relief for me than him but it did prove a turning point for me as my greatest achievement to date was inventing dynamite.
True that i had become incredibly rich by finding ways to kill more people even faster and violently than ever before but nobody wants to be remembered for that although i failed to see how just because i'd invented dynamite i was personally responsible for the death of thousands of people.
I mean honestly have you ever heard such nonsense i asked my wife.
'To be honest sweeteheart' she said sweetly, 'you did invent what is at this point in time the most powerful explosive on earth and it has gone on to kill thousands and thousands of people'.
I hated the thought that when people hear the word Nobel they're always going to think of dynamite and it was too late to change its name to Unicorn Rainbow Safety Powder so i decided i shall use my wealth to reinvent my own image and establish a special prize, one that rewards positive human endeavours in the pursuit of peace so that when i died i wasn't going to just be linked to explosives, i would also be remembered for whitewashing my own name and nobody need remember all the nasty deaths i caused.
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