The question i am always being asked is how do i feel about Christopher Columbus stealing my glory by 'discovering' America 500 years after i did. The difference was i meant to find it, he sort of bumped into it while looking for somewhere else but i have always taken the view that he was welcome to it.
Vikings had some pretty weird beliefs that the Earth and everything on it came from the sweat of a giant's armpit and when i turned up in 1002 it was pretty obvious why we thought it, phew.
We were lucky to get there at all really, my crew included Asgard the Clumsy who died while eating breakfast in bed and accidentally stabbed himself to death with his own dagger, the idiot.
It is only recently that my name has began to be mentioned, not that i noticed, i was too busy in Valhalla drinking all day and fighting all night.
There really wasn't much worth seeing or pillaging in the new land, the natives were also a bit weird, so i only hung around a short while and then returned to Greendland.
As it turned out Columbus then came along much later and started slaughtering the inhabitants, and it is the Vikings who had the reputation for that so while my story is an epic saga of Viking warriors sailing their long boats into a terrifying unknown to find a new continent, the story that's get told is of some creepy Italian with a freaky beard who got lost, found a land by accident and then bashed up the locals.
My film would have been much better so get on it Hollywood, and see if you can get that Alexander Skarsgård to play me and Nicholas Cage would be ideal for Asgard.
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