Monday 3 February 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Tycho Brahe

Things got crazy for me pretty early on, i was born into Danish nobility but kidnapped aged two by my Uncle but as one of 12 children, my father didn't seem to try to hard to get me back and i grew up non the wiser that my dad was actually my uncle but he did encourage my interest in Astronomy and mathematics.
It was maths which led to my tragic disfigurement, challenging a guy to a sword duel over an algebra equation but unfortunately it turned out that he was some great swordsmen and he lopped off my nose. 
Fearing it might affect my chances with the ladies, i had a brass one made for everyday use and silver one for special occasions and hoped nobody would notice too much.
Not long after the nose slicing episode, i discovered a new star and my fame spread all around Europe and the King of Denmark gave me my own observatory, but i needed staff so i bought in a midget psychic and an Elk which i house trained although it did later die by getting drunk and falling down the stairs, poor thing couldn't take it's liqueur.
Things suddenly got serious when i got into a heated debate with the Kings son, accusing him of not respecting my greatness enough, the same King's son who then took over the throne when the King died not long after and remembered the names i called him and took back the observatory and exiled me.
Me and my metal nose collection turned up in Prague but after a banquet in my honour, i fell ill and died and suspicion fell on the King of Denmark but another suspect was my pupil, Johannes Kepler, the same Johannes Kepler who has access to all my Astronomical data and whose famous three laws
of planetary motion where suspiciously close to my own conclusions.
The truth is that i died of a ruptured bladder after drinking too much and simply refusing to get up to piss which, you gotta admit, sounds like a fitting way to go for someone who house trained an Elk and walked around with a silver nose.

No comments: