Sunday 9 February 2020

Special Guest Blogger: Groucho Marx

The remit for this blog posting is to go back over my life and give an opinion of how things went for me but the first few years are a bit of a blur, i must confess, I was born at a very early age but my first memory is throwing my toys at the mailman in my pyjamas, how he got into my pyjamas i'll never know.
I wanted to become a doctor because that was where the money was, in America a hospital bed is like a taxi with the meter running but i was to the medical profession what Henry 8th was to marriage counselling so instead i moved into singing but i had a voice that nobody could forget although in my case everyone tried so i went into comedy with my brothers.
Our first few television appearances turned out to be very educational, every time we were on the set people would go into the other room and read a book but along with Chico and Harpo, we improved and ended up making 13 films together.
Fame bought me three wives, some people claim that marriage interferes with romance and there was no doubt about it, anytime i had a romance my wife found out so in the best Hollywood tradition, each of my brides kept the bouquets and threw away the groom.
My second wife was a real beauty, she got her looks from her father. He was a plastic surgeon.
In all seriousness though i had a great life, i just joked around and looked like an idiot, walked like an idiot and talked like an idiot but don't let that fool you, i really was an idiot.
I did intend to live forever, or die trying but the doctor told me i was fatally ill with pneumonia so i said not to worry, dying  would be the last thing i would do.
Well it has been fun reminiscing, i have had a perfectly wonderful afternoon, but this wasn't it.

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