As the daughter of Henry VIII i was never going to be a wallflower and i was lucky enough to have ruled during the time of Walter Raleigh, Francis Drake and William Shakespeare and when the Spanish got all uppity, well, you may have heard of the Spanish Armada or as we called it afterwards, floating firewood.I also had a few sibling problems with my sister, Mary, who planned to murder me and take the throne for herself but i ensured that she didn't have the last laugh by making sure she didn't have an head, odd bodkins the executioners axe soon settled that dispute.
I was famously called the virgin queen but as a lady i could never kiss and tell despite the courts of Europe being abuzz with gossip about my relationship with Robert Dudley, just as i was too much of lady to possibly comment on how exactly his wife, Amy Robsart, ended up with her neck broken at the bottom of a staircase.
I did die unmarried and there are relatively few portraits of me and the ones that there are, all look kinda similar and perfectly captured my regal beauty such as my petite nose and not my actual hideously crooked hooter, perfect white teeth and not the real rotten tombstones in my mouth and my porcelain smooth white face and no sign of my actual pockmarked skin.
The truth is that when i ordered portraits i ordered the artists to do an exact copy of the only portrait i ever liked and as i was a bit head choppy in my time, that's exactly what i got.
Say what you like about us Tudors but nobody can ever say we were boring, psychopaths and nutters yes, but never boring.
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