Being the third in line to the Egyptian throne meant that i was going to have to wait until my two elder sisters died before i could take my turn but as fortune would have it, they both did just that and within a suspiciously short time of each other which all meant i became Queen of Egypt but as a Pharaoh is meant to be a dude, i had to wear a fetching beard disguise.I married my half brother and we ruled together for a while but even in Ancient Egypt marrying your own brother is a bit icky so he also died mysteriously soon after and i ruled alone and enjoyed all the luxuries like bathing in asses milk and dressing like the goddess Isis in all the finest linen, one dress i owned was made entirely of 24-carat gold.
I then married another brother but my one true love was always Julius Caesar and i had his child and hoped that he'd be crowned King but my brother wasn't keen on that so he was yet another of my siblings who met a grisly end (really, what was my family like) but Caesar soon found twenty three knives thrust into his back so i then found out that my real, actual true love all along was Mark Antony who just happened to be another Roman leader but he wasn't the sharpest tool in the toolbox.
With Rome wary of the emergence of the Egyptians as a powerful force, and Antony gifting me Egypt, Cyprus, Crete and Syria as a wedding gift, they sent an army to kill us both so we made a suicide pact if one of us should die.
Whilst away fighting the approaching Roman army, in the mistaken belief that i had been killed, he literally fell onto his sword so i was obligated to do the same but not for me a boring old sword, i went with something much more dramatic and made a poisonous snake bite me on the breast.
I left behind a love story that the world will remember forever and a career highlight for Elizabeth Taylor.
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