A Mr Or A Miss?

There was a TV show a while back where men took challenges to win a date with a stunningly beautiful women with the kicker being revealed at the end that the woman was actually a man in drag and while watching Ru Paul's Drag Race this week, my husband commented that some of the men make such beautiful women that you could never actually be sure until you see them naked but if you have got that far then it is probably too late so i have devised some simple first date tests to see if your potential lover is a Mr or a Miss and without a gynecologist in sight.

The Picture test. Show them a picture of a beautiful, scantily clad woman. If your date starts drooling and a pervy grin appears across their face and they mutter incoherently when you talk to them, it's a dude. If they comment on how her roots need doing and those red shoes don't go with those black fishnet stockings, then it's a female.

The Grudge Test. Simply ask if there is anybody they dislike. If there are less than 3 then it's a he. If there are over 50 going back to that ginger girl who stole that red crayon from them at nursery school or the woman who handed them their change in a way they didn't much care for in Asda in 2001, then it's a she.

The Barbecue Test. Fire up a barbecue and leave the grill unattended for 30 seconds. If on your return your date is seated in the same place and showing no interest in the cooking burgers, then she's a lady. If on your return they are flipping over the burgers and warning people to stand clear as they squirt more fuel onto the glowing bricks, then he's a man.

The Car Test. Stand your date in front of a car and open the bonnet and ask them if they wouldn’t mind checking the oil for you. If they look blankly back at you and ask for the phone number of the AA, it's a lady.

The IKEA Test. Hand over a flat pack bedside cabinet and observe. If they carefully reads through the instructions and calmly constructs the cabinet, it's Miss. If they rip open the packaging, hits it about with a hammer, swears and complains that the holes don't line up for 20 minutes before realising that they have the wrong bit, it's a guy.

The Clock Test. Ask them to meet you at a designated place at a certain time. If they arrive fifteen minutes late, they are a woman.