Special Guest Blogger: Myles Standish

A man may fight for many things such as his country, his principles, his friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child but personally, i'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash which is exactly what i was offered by the Puritans to act as their military advisor when they went to the New World.
Well, they called it the New World but it wasn't new to the natives who already lived there which is why they needed a military expert like me to tag along although i found the whole God thing a bit weird.
I had been hanging around in the Netherlands after the British war there when this strange bunch came up and told me about their plans to hire a boat and sail off and they wanted me to run their military which i agreed to because we would be armed with guns and the guys there had bits of wood to fight back with.
When half of the Pilgrims died on the journey and then we made land 200 miles away from where we were aiming for i thought this isn't going to end well but i headed a scouting party and got attacked by a bunch of the natives and i thought, hang on, people to shoot at without consequences so this may be okay after-all.
The religious guys set up a settlement and designed a fort but more pressing was not starving to death because the dollards had not bought any seeds or tools with them.
Now i am of the persuasion that if you give a man a sandwich you'll feed him for a day and if you give him a religion he'll starve to death praying for a sandwich which many did including my own wife who died while i was off leading a militia to attack the locals. That attack ended up with us storming the wrong house and shooting the wrong people which i am sure the modern American military would never do but it was the 17th Century we didn't have the top notch intelligence and weapons the guys have these days.
A different bunch of new arrivals upset the natives by stealing their resources and they were threatening to massacre us all so i was sent to calm things down and smooth things over so i invited the top Native to a meal and using his own knife, stabbed him and his guards dead, threat over.
My reward was a farm of 120 acres where i lived out my days until i died of kidney stones but the America we started went on to thrive and in a nice touch the American military has helicopters called Apache and missiles named Tomahawks, both names taken from the people we slaughtered and then rounded up into reservations while we stole their land, which is nice of us i think.