Special Guest Blogger: Saint Brigid

Have you ever put a curse on somebody? Like if you came home and found that your roommate ate your Pringles and you got annoyed and told them you hoped it gave them explosive diarrhea and then it actually did and you felt really bad because you didn't realize your own powers?
I was a bit like that but not with Pringles and not with diarrhea but before i get to that, a quick run through of my childhood.
When my father found out my mother was pregnant with me, he graciously sold her to a Druid landowner but when i grew up and after the episode where i gave away her whole store of butter, i was sent back to my father's home.
I did have a penchant for giving things away to the poor, my father, not the type to give away anything including his daughter, took me to the King of Leinster with the intention of selling me to him while he still had some furniture left but as they discussed it i gave away the kings dagger to a passing beggar and the King suggested he just let me go, probably because nobody would pay money for a person who gives all their stuff away.
Now free, i went back to my mother who was in charge of a dairy and obviously, i often gave her milk away which didn't make me popular with her so she sent be back again to my father who then arranged a marriage to palm me off on someone else but i said i wanted none of that and prayed that that my beauty be taken so no one would want to marry me.
I've always been fascinated with the world of men, revolted of course, but fascinated and one man said he didn't care that i resembled the back end of a cow and would marry me anyway so i said his eyes will burst in his head, and guess what happened, he found salvation through true love - just kidding, both his eyeballs exploded.
Now good and proper fugly, i was ordained by Saint Patrick himself and asked the King for land to found a monastery. Being a sarcastic git, he said i could have as much land as my cloak could cover so me and three sisters took a corner each and ran into separate directions, the cloak opened up and covered acres so the King called us back and said he would give us a decent plot and to be fair he did and we built the Church of the Oak.
One of the miracles attributed to me was that i could turn water into beer and remember that this is in Ireland, so that one was very popular.
Another one was very similar to one of Mungo's where a woman dropped a silver broach into the sea and she came to me for help and i ordered a fisherman to haul in a fish which, when cut open, had swallowed the broach. Now i'm not saying Mungo nicked my story but...nope, that's exactly what im saying, which was pretty brave considering i exploded the eyeballs of a man for wanting to marry me.