I would go to them and ask them what would make me live to be over 90 and they rubbed their balls and looked into the sands and came back with bathing in dolphins blood would do the trick so i ordered the wholesale slaughter of dolphins and had the blood sent to my bathtub.
They said that to ward off evil i should walk backwards across bridges, which i did and when i consulted them on what to do to stop the nation leaning politically to one side, they told me to change the entire country's roadways from left-lane driving to right so i waited until there was a 9 in the date and proclaimed that everybody had been driving on the wrong side of the road and ordered all the intersections and signs to be changed.
As the nations cars had steering wheels on the right, it made for some hilarious viewing although probably not so funny if you caught the bus because the doors were on the wrong side and passengers have to disembark in the middle of the road.
I had to wait until there was a 9 in the date because i was also told that it was my lucky number so i would only announce new policies on days that had a 9 in them.
I also shot my own reflection in mirrors if the clothes didn't look perfect but the policy that was possibly a step too far was when i changed the currency into denominations of 15, 30, 45 and 90 and that the old denominations would cease to be legal tender immediately and the entire country pretty much lost their savings overnight and the country flipped out.
I stepped down but after a failed coup, i was placed under house arrest which you would have thought the fortune tellers and astrologers would have seen coming but i lived to be 91 so all those dolphins who donated their blood never died in vain.
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